Margarita Hour

Hey everyone! So, on Friday I went to see the new “Obsession” movie with my best friend. I have a lot of thoughts about it. If you are planning to watch it and haven’t yet don’t read this because there will be spoilers. This movie was phenomenal honestly, like I have not seen a movie that good in a really long time. It was cinematic, thoughtful, and made me jump a few times. My best friend was so scared I had to hold her hand so she wouldn’t leave the theater. So first I want to start with Bear’s character. The writing and acting of his character was so good because in the beginning you feel bad for him. He is portrayed as this shy kind of awkward guy that has a really big crush on his coworker but is too scared to ask her out. From the beginning you can see the contrast of Nikki’s character and Bear’s. Nikki is outgoing and honest while Bear is awkward and a little weird. They don’t have a lot of chemistry, there is no flirting going on and it just seems platonic. You can see how big of a crush Bear has when Nikki tells him she dropped her crystal necklace down the drain and he goes to the store looking for a new one. He stalks her social media and I think that scene is a huge foundation of the dynamic between Nikki and Bear. It isn’t real. Bear wants to create this fantasy of Nikki where they are more than they really are. He becomes consumed with the idea of her. I think it’s crucial to point out that one of the first things he did after his cat passed away was stalk Nikki’s instagram. He is using her for comfort, like an escape. I think this scene is where the title “Obsession” first comes to play. You see that it really isn’t love there is no romantic relationship going on between the two it is just Bear’s idea of Nikki. After he makes the wish for Nikki to love him more than anyone else obviously you see that she becomes interested, but she is not herself. Immediately she comes up to the car she is awkward and even her voice is slightly different. Bear overlooks the fact that she is acting so weird because he thinks that she finally loves him. Obviously as the movie goes on she becomes more and more off hinged. The old version of Nikki that wanted to write and explore herself was gone. She came to exist only for Bear. Everyone started to notice that Nikki was no longer acting like herself. I think it’s really crazy to see that difference between her in the beginning and when they were in a relationship. I loved the scenes where the real Nikki came out and you could see that this entity took over her body, it was no longer Nikki. What really made me start to hate Bear was when he had two chances to talk to the real Nikki. When he called the phone number on the box he initially didn’t want the wish to stop, he still wanted Nikki to “love” him but just not be obsessed. This just showed that he knew that Nikki wasn’t actually in love with him and it was just a spell but he didn’t care. He would rather Nikki lose all sight of herself and no longer be her in exchange for her loving him. This also shows that Bear never really cared for Nikki. He was just obsessed. If he really cared for her in the way that he acted he would truly want what’s best for her, but he would rather her love him. On the phone call you can hear Nikki screaming over the phone as if it is a clip from her mind and Bear hangs up the phone. He doesn’t care to talk to the real Nikki because he knows she doesn’t love him. When Nikki is awake and tells him the entity is asleep and it is the real her for a split second she asks him to kill her. She is being forced to live this life and she has no control. Bear walks out the door. That scene shook me because it really put in perspective that in the beginning you feel so bad for him that he has this crush on this girl and she doesn’t like him, but now he hears her in pain over his actions and chooses to ignore it. Throughout the movie you can hear him say “she won’t leave me alone” and “she is obsessed with me” he starts to blame Nikki for acting this way without taking any responsibility over his own actions that led to this. This movie was phenomenal. I also just want to add that I thought it was crazy that Ian and Nikki were hooking up and Ian didn’t tell Bear. Bad friend move in my opinion. I think this movie was perfect. It was the type of movie that you leave and you don’t feel real. With that being said it got me thinking. There has been a time in my life when I was younger that I really fell in love with the idea with a person. I became consumed with the idea of them by small interactions. The feeling of obsession is so dangerous because it feels like love until you don’t have feelings for that person anymore. I used to love the chase and the mixed feelings because it made me feel some type of high. When it was bad it was really really bad but when it was good it was really really good. I got addicted to that feeling of “what if” because it is so fun until it’s not, because it’s not real. Love is not supposed to be this crazy roller coaster of ups and downs. It shouldn’t make you think “what if” it should just be there. Now another takeaway I got from this movie is as you guys know from my previous blogs I haven’t dated in over a year. This movie made me think about my last relationship. When I got into my previous relationship I was at a point in my life similar to now where I felt very comfortable on my own. I felt in tune with my emotions. I knew that the next relationship I had I didn’t want it to be like how my first one ended. By the end of my first relationship it was very toxic on both of our parts. It was a shell of the relationship we used to have. I have reflected back to ways I acted at the end of that relationship and promised myself if I ever date again I never ever want to be that jealous insecure version of myself ever again. I was confident in myself and was secure. I made it very known from the beginning of my most recent relationship that I have learned a lot and I didn’t want overthinking and screaming arguments. I remember him asking me if we went out to the bar together and a girl approached him what would I do? I said “nothing, I think you should just say you have a girlfriend and move on”. He got upset with me because wanted me to be more “crazy and possessive” . I tried to explain that it wasn’t that I didn’t care if someone approached him, it’s just that I don’t want that jealousy in a relationship. We dated for almost 6 months and throughout the relationship the more “crazy” I got. It felt like to me he liked the idea of me but he didn’t like how I was focused on myself. He knew I didn’t want to be consumed by a relationship and he didn’t like that, so he slowly started doing things for a reaction. At first I didn’t react and just communicated how I felt in a healthy conversation, but the more and more it happened the less and less I started feeling like myself. I’m not trying to air out specific things nor am I fully ready to reexperience how I felt in some of those situations. The moral of this is that he would do these things to make me feel little in the relationship like I didn’t matter and soon enough I started picking apart every situation. The jealousy took over me because after lies and lies you don’t believe anything. I remember one time I asked him what his favorite things about me were and he responded back “how you look and the way you treat me”. At that moment I knew that it was never about me. It was never about my personality or my interests, it was the way he felt seen by me. He liked the feeling of a girlfriend and a person who will be there for him, he didn’t like me. He would never ask me questions about myself unless it was questioning what I was doing at this time of day. I have a lot of goals and a lot of interests and they were watered down to become solely a girlfriend and nothing more. That was never love. Our relationship ended because it was so very toxic. It was consumed by jealousy and it was too much for him. I didn’t understand at first because in the beginning I wasn’t jealous or crazy and now I am too much due to his actions. It is easy to fall back into this. It’s easy to become a shell of yourself when you feel pressure to be someone you are not. He wanted “crazy and jealous” but when he had it he didn’t want it anymore because it is all about the obsession of an idea of someone. He liked the way I looked but he wanted me to only live for him, but when I did it was too much. Our greed for more and the chase to want something we can’t have ruins our perception of love. I think “Obsession” perfectly encapsulates what our society’s view of love is. Love is not being consumed by another person. Love is growing together and embracing another person for the way they are not the way you wish they were. This movie was a 10/10. I hope you guys enjoyed this and I would love to hear what you guys thought about the movie. Thank you for reading and I hope to see you next time at MargaritaHour.