Margarita Hour

growing up I was always scared of seesaws
I never wanted to admit being scared
my fear was to go really high up and fall
I would get on and act like I never cared
fake laughs and smiles
every word coming out of my mouth was lies

when I was eleven my father died
I got up the next day and went to school
shy and reserved, better to be silent than confide
the tears from my eyes make me feel like a fool
to show pain
doesn’t align with my vain

blowing out my 18th birthday candles
what now?
the weight is too much to handle
get my award and take a bow
how much success will fulfill
there is no more thrill

the scariest part of a mountain is the top
one blow of the wind and you are drowning
I wish the earth’s spin would stop
one minute for my heart to stop pounding
feel too much
want too much
hands blistered from the strength of my clutch

growing older
birthday countdown
heart grows colder
we all fall down